Sue Abel's one rule: respect others
Marieke van der Vaart
Issue date: 9/24/09 Section: News
| |
| |
|
"It seemed to go by really, really fast," Bergen said. "She's just an incredible woman."
Gray-haired and petite, the energetic house director sits down to recount her adventures.
Celebrating her 21st year of house directing, Abel started in Olds Residence for fourteen years before transferring to Benzing.
She was no stranger to Hillsdale College before that, though. After her three youngest children graduated from the college, she decided to start the next phase of life rather than face empty-nest syndrome.
Abel said the former dean told her, "You didn't take the job -- you moved down the street."
The house director who never stops going, Abel can't sleep more than four hours and night and works as a tennis teacher for the athletics department as well as conducting interviews for residence assistant positions.
"Don't you wish you could only sleep for four hours?" junior Juls O'Neill, former Benzing resident assistant said. "Think of how much you could get done!"
Abel partially credits the girls around her with her energy level. She said she prefers the freshman and sophomore composition of Benzing for exactly that reason.
"You're still trying things. You're still deciding things," she said. "I like that curiosity."
Abel recognizes more than curiosity in girls around her. Most RA applicants interview with Abel, a process O'Neill attributes to Abel's keen judge of human character.
"She has a very good grasp on human nature," she said. "She usually e-mails the dean one-liners. She never tells her [who to pick] though. She knows her job."
O'Neill's description?
"She goes to the beat of her own drum," O'Neill says, remembering what Abel wrote to Dean Philipp about her.
Dean of Women Diane Philipp had to write back and ask whether she meant that O'Neill would make a good RA, O'Neill recounts, laughing.
"I just love her," O'Neill said.
One thing Mrs. Abel does not claim to be is anyone's mother. She says she doesn't go by "Mom Abel" because she doesn't want to be a surrogate mother. Instead students call her "Mrs. Abel." Every woman in Benzing already has a mother, Abel says.
She also doesn't claim to enforce lots of rules. She specifies only one rule for the residents of Benzing: respect each other.
"I'm so impressed by her ability to be the house mother but not bombard you with rules," senior Sarah Rogers, a second-year resident assistant. in Benzing said. "You do things in her dorms because you respect those around you."
Abel applies that respect to everyone in her honesty.
"She's very honest -- she's not going to beat around the bush and make you feel better," O'Neill said. "She's not mean -- she's honest."
That doesn't mean she doesn't love students who live with her.
"I don't care who lives with me," Mrs. Abel said. "I'll love them anyway."
Last semester Bergen experienced the unquestioning generosity of Mrs. Abel when she flew back to visit her critically-injured father.
"She just gave me tough love," Bergen said. "Her dad died of cancer. She has so many life experiences to draw from."
An hour before landing in South Bend, Bergen called Mrs. Abel to tell her she didn't have a ride back to Hillsdale College.
"She said, 'Honey just let me finish this,'" and drove out to pick Bergen up.
"She cares so much for all the girls her dorm," Bergen said.
If she cares for the girls in her dorm, she also cares for her cat, Batman. With fluffy black hair and a sense of mischief, Batman frequently tries to escape Mrs. Abel's apartment and can often be heard talking on the other side of her screen door.
"Batman is just her little child," Bergen sasid. "He's really good company for her. He's so huge and Mrs. Abel is so tiny."
As for criticisms against what people sometimes call her hands-on management of Benzing, Bergen says it has more to do with 21 years of experience running a dorm.
"If you had a better idea then she would totally listen to that," Bergen said. "She's such a good listener."
Abel loves staying in Benzing. Her excited eyes and gesticulating hands emphasize her attachment to the girls in the dorm.
"I love the fact that I'm with young people and I get to see them live their lives as they mature," Abel said. "Sometimes the girls bring their babies to me. It's like having this family of 2,000 people. I love watching it happen."
For the future, Abel has no specific plans. One thing she knows for certain -- she isn't going to retire: ever.
"It won't be retirement. It'll be changing," she said with a smile.
Be the first to comment on this story