They're not dating, but 'Hillsdating'
Students comment on classmates who are never Facebook official, shun relationship labels
Naomi Johnson
Issue date: 2/5/09 Section: Focus
Generally, when two people like each other and form an emotionally exclusive relationship, they label each other boyfrend and girlfriend. However, dating at Hillsdale College, or "Hillsdating," is often different.
"The fact that a term has actually been developed for it is, in and of itself, remarkable," senior Rob Ogden said.
While most find Hillsdating couples slightly irritating in their denial of any and all labels, Ogden has developed a rather casual attitude towards them.
"I used to be a little bothered by it, but not really anymore. Why do we need labels at all?" he asked. "Just let them be what they are, labels or no."
"Just man up and ask her already!" sophomore Jon Gregg said, one of the many who lack Ogden's casual air. "I know that sometimes there's that period where you find out you like each other, but it shouldn't last for a year," he said.
"…or four!" sophomore Tom Sawyer chimed in.
It seems as if all of their efforts to avoid being labeled as a couple are absolutely pointless.
"Look at it this way," Gregg said. "The President's Ball is coming up. If no one would think of asking them because they know they're going together and they're not thinking of asking anyone else because they know they're going together, then they're Hillsdating."
Why then, do these couples feel as if they should avoid the commonly accepted labels of boyfriend and girlfriend? Is it guilt brought about from a certain upbringing? Is it hesitance to admit that they have these feelings?
"I don't know and I don't really care," Ogden said, suggesting that maybe they find comfort in a less-defined relationship and feel as if a lack of labels equals a lack of restrictions.
"Dating is marriage-lite. You get all the perks without having to jump into the real thing," Ogden said.
"If you're not strong enough in your 'love' to not care what your friends say about it, that's sad," Gregg said.
"I'm not going to get mixed up in their business or anything, but I might make fun of them… to their faces and maybe behind their backs as well," Gregg said.
"It's really a non-issue, because what they are doesn't necessarily depend on what they say," Ogden said. "Is God happier because they aren't 'boyfriend and girlfriend?' I really don't think so."
"I personally don't find it threatening either way…insisting on a vocabulary, a standard Facebook-defined, institutionalized nomenclature is stupid," Ogden said, "but it's also stupid to pretend like you're not romantically involved."
"The fact that a term has actually been developed for it is, in and of itself, remarkable," senior Rob Ogden said.
While most find Hillsdating couples slightly irritating in their denial of any and all labels, Ogden has developed a rather casual attitude towards them.
"I used to be a little bothered by it, but not really anymore. Why do we need labels at all?" he asked. "Just let them be what they are, labels or no."
"Just man up and ask her already!" sophomore Jon Gregg said, one of the many who lack Ogden's casual air. "I know that sometimes there's that period where you find out you like each other, but it shouldn't last for a year," he said.
"…or four!" sophomore Tom Sawyer chimed in.
It seems as if all of their efforts to avoid being labeled as a couple are absolutely pointless.
"Look at it this way," Gregg said. "The President's Ball is coming up. If no one would think of asking them because they know they're going together and they're not thinking of asking anyone else because they know they're going together, then they're Hillsdating."
Why then, do these couples feel as if they should avoid the commonly accepted labels of boyfriend and girlfriend? Is it guilt brought about from a certain upbringing? Is it hesitance to admit that they have these feelings?
"I don't know and I don't really care," Ogden said, suggesting that maybe they find comfort in a less-defined relationship and feel as if a lack of labels equals a lack of restrictions.
"Dating is marriage-lite. You get all the perks without having to jump into the real thing," Ogden said.
"If you're not strong enough in your 'love' to not care what your friends say about it, that's sad," Gregg said.
"I'm not going to get mixed up in their business or anything, but I might make fun of them… to their faces and maybe behind their backs as well," Gregg said.
"It's really a non-issue, because what they are doesn't necessarily depend on what they say," Ogden said. "Is God happier because they aren't 'boyfriend and girlfriend?' I really don't think so."
"I personally don't find it threatening either way…insisting on a vocabulary, a standard Facebook-defined, institutionalized nomenclature is stupid," Ogden said, "but it's also stupid to pretend like you're not romantically involved."
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