The Collegian

Issue date: 9/18/08 Section: Focus

Bill Knauss, 64, gets up in the morning and puts on his pants just like everybody else - but afterwards he puts on a Hillsdale Security jacket and writes parking tickets.

Word is, students do not like parking tickets.

Senior Evan Brown said, "I don't think [parking tickets] are necessary at all, considering how small the campus is. Students should be allowed to park where they want. It's annoying."

Although Knauss is unlikely to win any fruit baskets or popularity awards for his work, Knauss appears unaffected by the general odium.

For Knauss, a former corrections officer, working a job that naturally creates animosity is nothing new.

"I'm just doing my job," Knauss said, "And I treat everybody the same. If there's a violation - I write a ticket. I don't argue with the kids."

Knauss works for the college part-time as a security employee and bus driver.

He works five or six days a week and said he spends an average of three hours every day writing tickets on his security shift in addition to driving the buses.

During those three hours, Knauss routinely hops into a gold minivan, its gilded form belying its malevolent intent, and makes his foray into campus, eyes peeled for unsuspecting game.

In the old days before the "three tickets and towed" rule, a policy enacted last year by Director of Security Mike Wertz, officers routinely submitted 18 to 20 parking tickets per day.

"Nowadays I usually write about three or four a shift, but in the next couple weeks is when things pick up," he said with a grin. "That's when we hit 'em hard."

Knauss does not work according to a pre-determined schedule.

He varies his hours - lest students become accustomed to a consistent time slot when rampant parking goes unchecked.

"[The students] catch on quick," Knauss said. "We have to keep them guessing."

The result for students is a constant fear of tickets, especially when Knauss betrays himself with a flash of gold, as the minivan darts among cars like a piranha.

Some students resent Knauss' devotion to his position.

In an e-mail to The Collegian, senior Tyler Walton said, "That guy takes his job way too seriously. I think it's bordering on obsession. It makes me think of Captain Ahab and the white whale."

Knauss is visibly unaffected by student complaints and echoes a line that seems to be a Knaussian catchphrase: "Talk to Mike."

As a regular bus driver for Hillsdale teams, Knauss said he often develops casual friendships with the athletes, who often react with shock when they are ticketed.

"Why would you ticket me?" he mimics. "I tell them, 'Talk to Mike.' "

Knauss suggested that if he let one student off the hook, rumor would spread across campus until the security office became crammed with parking criminals seeking amnesty.

"That's why I tell them to see Mike," Knauss said, "I just write the tickets; I don't argue."

Sophomore Kaitlin Hoeft attested to the value of dropping in to see Wertz.

After she visit, she walked away, the amount she owed drastically lowered.

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