The Greek shade of discipline
Anna Williams
Issue date: 9/18/08 Section: Focus
What happens when your best friend does something wrong and it's your job to speak up?
While it can be tough to discipline a friend, Greek leaders say, it usually does not damage the relationship. Three house presidents told the Collegian that problems requiring official discipline are infrequent, occurring a few times per semester, and usually involve academic performance, alcohol or rules of individual Greek houses.
Even though having to punish another member is rare, it is still difficult at first. "[Becoming a leader] is awkward because you go from being friends with a person to having authority over her," said Pi Beta Phi sorority president Eveline Gnabasik, a senior.
Leaders have to strike the right balance between understanding the members and enforcing the rules.
"Be sensitive, but make the rules clear," said Gnabasik.
Before resorting to a formal punishment, a leader in the fraternity or sorority may approach the member informally to talk about the issue.
"Make sure it's a discussion. Hear both sides… it makes people more willing to work with you," said senior Chi Omega sorority president Alison Lanctot.
Junior Blake Halseide, president of Alpha Tau Omega fraternity, pointed out that every leader has been on the other side of the situation. Remembering how he felt as a member has helped him to handle problems as a leader.
Talking to another member about a problem is often enough to solve it - for example, sometimes people just don't realize that their music is disturbing others and will turn it down if asked. This approach solves problems without unnecessarily reporting them to an authority, improves relationships within the house and encourages self-government.
Gnabasik and Lanctot agree that most members know when they have broken a rule or made a mistake, so they accept responsibility.
Even if they disagree with the rule, members will almost always agree to the consequences. But occasionally, it doesn't go so smoothly -even if the leader and member are friends.
"You have to realize that there's right and wrong-if someone can't respect that you're sticking up for what's right and doing your job, they're probably not a great friend to begin with," said Gnabasik. Gnabasik said cases like this are difficult for leaders, but every house has a faculty advisor, and sometimes also a personnel board of other members, there to help.
Halseide said that leadership in a Greek house is not about telling other members how to act. "Everyone can make wise decisions for themselves - give them the freedom to do it," he said. Since the leaders set an example for everyone else, he adds, it's especially important for them to be patient and keep their cool.
Gnabasik offers similar advice to new Greek leaders: "Know what you stand for, and be consistent in your life. Actions speak way louder than words."
While it can be tough to discipline a friend, Greek leaders say, it usually does not damage the relationship. Three house presidents told the Collegian that problems requiring official discipline are infrequent, occurring a few times per semester, and usually involve academic performance, alcohol or rules of individual Greek houses.
Even though having to punish another member is rare, it is still difficult at first. "[Becoming a leader] is awkward because you go from being friends with a person to having authority over her," said Pi Beta Phi sorority president Eveline Gnabasik, a senior.
Leaders have to strike the right balance between understanding the members and enforcing the rules.
"Be sensitive, but make the rules clear," said Gnabasik.
Before resorting to a formal punishment, a leader in the fraternity or sorority may approach the member informally to talk about the issue.
"Make sure it's a discussion. Hear both sides… it makes people more willing to work with you," said senior Chi Omega sorority president Alison Lanctot.
Junior Blake Halseide, president of Alpha Tau Omega fraternity, pointed out that every leader has been on the other side of the situation. Remembering how he felt as a member has helped him to handle problems as a leader.
Talking to another member about a problem is often enough to solve it - for example, sometimes people just don't realize that their music is disturbing others and will turn it down if asked. This approach solves problems without unnecessarily reporting them to an authority, improves relationships within the house and encourages self-government.
Gnabasik and Lanctot agree that most members know when they have broken a rule or made a mistake, so they accept responsibility.
Even if they disagree with the rule, members will almost always agree to the consequences. But occasionally, it doesn't go so smoothly -even if the leader and member are friends.
"You have to realize that there's right and wrong-if someone can't respect that you're sticking up for what's right and doing your job, they're probably not a great friend to begin with," said Gnabasik. Gnabasik said cases like this are difficult for leaders, but every house has a faculty advisor, and sometimes also a personnel board of other members, there to help.
Halseide said that leadership in a Greek house is not about telling other members how to act. "Everyone can make wise decisions for themselves - give them the freedom to do it," he said. Since the leaders set an example for everyone else, he adds, it's especially important for them to be patient and keep their cool.
Gnabasik offers similar advice to new Greek leaders: "Know what you stand for, and be consistent in your life. Actions speak way louder than words."
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